Nowadays problem with intimacy and why men pay for sex
There are many reasons in today’s society that men are experiencing less intimacy with women and are struggling to find a lifelong partner, such as;
- Social media
- Women are becoming more independent
- High expectations from excess porn
Rise of the “involuntarily celibate”
In society, terrorist attacks and school shootings have been on the rise, shining a light on the “incel” community, which is a movement of mostly young men who call themselves “involuntarily celibate.”
Incel communities have bonded over the fact that they feel isolated from having any prospect of a romantic relationship, which in some extreme cases has led to a bitterness or hatred towards society and misogynist views towards women. This extreme incel culture has resulted in many.
Over the last number of decades women across the globe have been finding new pleasures in experiencing life as a solo entity, rather than the traditional set up of having a long-term partner or husband. A study last year revealed that a study which included 80,000 revealed that overall women become healthier in their lifestyle once they have divorced their husband or separated from their partner. Another research also showed that women are typically happier being single than men are, so does the future for females look like it could be men free?
Women aren’t interested in marriage or long-term relationships
Women are becoming more independent, liberated and self-sufficient as the years go on and many men fear this and belief it to be threatening, in particular the incel community. Their frustration of being unable to convince women to participate in sexual activity for them is often projected in the view point that they are owed sex by women. They believe that women are shallow and allowing them a choice as to who they have sex with results in them going for conventionally attractive and successful men, meaning that they are outcastes once again.
However, this ideology that women are the property of men is as we know rooted deep in history and can be exemplified as far back to the Victorian era with jack the Ripper or with serial killers such as Ted Bundy. The incel community’s frustration boils down to anger towards the perceived deviation of women from their alleged sexual roles in society.” (Source: https://ippr-journal.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/BrookeCollins.pdf
Many extreme incel men manifest the idea of women going for a more masculine type of male rather than the Beta type into a hatred for the opposite gender, which can have devastating consequences such as the Toronto and Santa Barbara shootings.
Both Rodgers and Minassian acted on the core philosophy that bred the Incel movement online: that males are superior to females, who only exist for their sexual gratification. In other words, they view women as nothing more than sexual property.
Social Media
Sexless relationships and marriages are on the rise due to the diversion created by social media. Recent studies focused on the introduction of the iPhone in 2007 as a causative factor, “Life in the digital age is considerably more complex than in previous eras, the boundary between the private space of home and the public world outside is blurred, and the internet offers considerable scope for diversion.” Many scientists are worried about the distraction of social media as regular sex is linked to a healthy life overall, therefore could this be a reason why so many men such as the incel community are finding it difficult to experience intimacy and find a partner?
High expectations from porn
It comes as no surprise that many men who watch an excessive amount of porn also have trouble within their relationships or maintaining long-term romances, and this is also confirmed by recent studies. The results showed that an “increased use of porn led to a “higher need for external stimulation of the reward system and a tendency to search for novel and more extreme sexual material.” While there are more studies and research out there that further detail the effects of regular porn use, these two findings seem to have the most significant impact on romantic relationships.”
Sex that we view on porn websites and sex in real life are very different, however the line between reality has become somewhat blurred and this has led to people becoming more interested in the extreme which is a dark and dangerous path.
Women in pornographic movies are depicted in a certain light that is not realistic or natural, therefore when men are exposed to this depiction of women from a young age then it is all they known and that is when their expectations of sexual relations between a man and woman are far from reality.
“Porn leaves people with an ever increasing desire to satiate themselves in ways that cannot (and often should not) be replicated in good and healthy relationships.”
So, where are men turning to for sexual relations?
A recent study in the U.K revealed that over the last decade there has been an increase in erotic massage parlours popping up over major cities such as Manchester, Glasgow, Birmingham and London, as well as an increase in men visiting these institutions. ( read more about erotic massage services in London)
In a time where everything is highly accessible such as instant messenger, Uber Eats and online shopping – it comes as no surprise that sex is also just a click of your phone away. So, are more men turning to massage parlours for their daily dose of pleasure and relief a opposed to settling down with a long-term partner? 62% of men in London said in a recent poll that they have visited a massage parlour to satisfy their needs at least once in the last decade and the most prominent reason being that they were unable to find a sexual partner organically.
It is clear that although many men might pay for sex due to seeking a “thrill” or because they are bored with their relationship or marriage, the fact that they are simply unable to find a sexual partner is a very strong factor.
